Tired of being asked, “Do you want fries with that” at your favorite fast food joint? Then you’ll appreciate Uncle Dave’s Down Home Recipes.

For a fabulous meal, just follow the simple directions below:

Start with a cup of space saver, over-the-range microwave oven. This way, you’ll save counter top space so that you will have room to store your muddy sneakers. Then mix in two teaspoons of frost-free refrigerator. Manual defrost? You’ve got to be kidding. I am categorically opposed to anything having to do with manual.

Next, set to bake at 350 degrees. Leave it in there until the whole thing boils over into a huge mess. You’ll be able to watch all the fun through your oven window, so be sure to invite the neighbors over – who needs cable? Besides, what fun is a self-cleaning oven if you don’t use it once in a while?

Then call for pizza. I prefer mine on a paper plate, but in case you use the fine china, you can put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Maybe it will even clean up those muddy sneakers too.

In case your kitchen is lacking any of these ingredients, you won’t find them at the grocery store, but you will find them at the Willow Grove Apartments in Pewaukee, not to mention Rensway and Mayfair Apartments in Waupun, Washington Manor and Washington Heights Apartments in Horicon and all the other Decker Properties locations!