Everybody has a certain fear of things that go “thump” in the night, but what should you do when the particular sound of the thump is actually the battering ram of the SWAT team breaking down your door and hauling your roommate away? This would be a sign that your roommate relationship has deteriorated.
Hopefully, reading this blog will help you identify when your roommate situation has deteriorated before law enforcement gets involved. Here are eight tips:
1. Happiness is an empty apartment. There’s nothing wrong with a little alone time, but you never quite feel at peace when The Other is around. That’s not to say that your roommate is Jack the Ripper. Maybe you just weren’t cut out for the roommate life or the two of you are just incompatible. If this feeling persists, it’s better to act on it while everyone is still friends.
2. Silence is golden. The two of you rarely talk and you never look forward to the conversation when it can’t be avoided. Having nothing in common is one thing, but when routine conversations become painful, it’s time to bail.
3. Your arguments make you a candidate for your own reality show. Every one disagrees once in a while, but if you can’t cross the room without the fur flying, it may be time to change your address.
4. Everyone knows you don’t like your roommate. The running joke with you and all your friends is the daily unbelievable machinations of The Other. Unless you need new material for your stand up routine, you might want to call Decker Properties to see if we’ve got any apartment openings.
5. You’re secretly hoping your roommate will get married. Or arrested. Or do something, anything, that would cause them to move out. At the point in time that you’re calling the anonymous tip line about your roommates criminal behavior or fixing The Other up with your hated cousin in hopes of nuptials, you might find a quick call to Decker Properties about some of our new one bedrooms would be a better bet.
6. You’re not treating the festering sore. Conflict can arise in any relationship, but your conflict is starting to make the 100 Years War look like a long weekend. These problems aren’t going to go away on their own. If the wounds are left untreated, gangrene can set in. Moving or amputation, the choice is yours.
7. Preservation is a good thing. Maybe the two of you were best buddies or lifelong pals – but that was before you moved in together. In order for this relationship to survive, some distance is going to be required.
8. You feel like Rodney Dangerfield. Good grief, comedian Rodney Dangerfield died 10 years ago already. But while he was still alive, he made a pretty decent living off the phrase, “I don’t get no respect.” Here’s some signs that you don’t get no respect:
a) Your roommate eats your food without asking.
b) Your roommate wears your underwear without asking.
c) Your roommate moves in Another Other without asking.
d) You roommate starts a meth lab without asking.
And the remedy to any of these problems? Call Decker Properties, we’ve got a perfect studio or one bedroom just for you. Don’t try to get your roommate to move, at least not to one of our apartments. We don’t rent to slobs like that.