image of full trunk on Moving DayHere’s some good news, it’s moving day!

For weeks now, you’ve been packing boxes full of all manner of stuff that you should really throw away, but hey, it’s hard to part with those eight track tapes and besides, you never know when leisure suits and platform shoes are going to come back in style.

So you’ve finished packing and now it’s time to load all those precious belongings in the U-Haul, which you will no doubt find out is two sizes too small. Don’t worry, all the excess junk will fit in your trunk, just like the guy in the picture.

But somehow you load up and drive to your new place. It’s pitch black out, because moving always takes longer than you think. Even in the dark, you swear you would have remembered that graffiti stating, “death to the infidels,” so that must be recent. This neighborhood looked fine in the daylight. Not to worry, the sounds of gunfire will probably die down by midnight.

So you move your stuff in. That’s when you find out you forgot to have the utilities connected. No matter, real men (and real women) aren’t afraid of the dark. And if the heat is off and it’s a little cool in your apartment, remember what you learned in survival training: shared bodily warmth. Maybe you can find one of those infidels to cozy up to.

Or you could just stay at your apartment with Decker Properties in Horicon, Shorewood, Little Chute, New Berlin, Waupun or Pewaukee, because we really do love you and would miss you terribly.