58% of employees would rather trust a stranger than their boss. 51% of employees are looking for another job. I’ve seen both statistics circulating on LinkedIn, without any attribution that I could find. I have no idea how reliable they are.
But if they’re even remotely representative of the American workplace, we’ve got a disaster on our hands.
Or do we?
I’ve been an employer for nearly 40 years, and there’s something about these workplace dissatisfaction surveys that deserves more attention: We’re hearing one side of the story.
There’s undoubtedly some self-reporting bias involved. And I’d suggest that at least some of the people describing their workplaces as toxic have a chip on their shoulder.
They got passed over for a promotion. They were handed an assignment they didn’t want. Work has demanded overtime lately. They didn’t get the raise they thought they deserved.
Any of those things can be frustrating. Sometimes the employee has a legitimate grievance.
But none of them, by themselves, makes a workplace toxic.
Getting told no doesn’t mean your boss has it in for you. Being held accountable doesn’t mean you’re being bullied. And being asked to do something difficult doesn’t mean you’re being exploited.
Then there’s office gossip.
Have you ever noticed how much more interesting it is to hear about somebody’s terrible boss than somebody’s wonderful boss?
Complaining about management can become a popular office pastime. And sometimes, the more people complain, the more convinced they become that they’re working in a terrible place.
Of course, genuinely toxic managers exist. I’ve seen them. Bullying, dishonesty, favoritism and humiliation are real problems, and employees shouldn’t have to tolerate them.
But there’s another side to this conversation that doesn’t get nearly enough attention.
Sometimes the problem isn’t that your boss is unreasonable. Sometimes it’s that your expectations are.
And sometimes the very employee who complains most loudly about workplace toxicity is contributing to it.
Reality Face Punch: Before deciding your workplace is toxic, ask yourself an uncomfortable question: Is the problem a greater reflection of your manager—or you?