Last time, we left off talking about, “what do you really want?” Do we know ourselves well enough to pursue a course that will bring happiness or are we just enslaved to cultural expectations?
How Did We Get Here?
If you see yourself described in What do You Really Want in the last post, then understand that you may have fallen under the spell of influencers that have clouded your vision of success. You are like a spaceship that has gone off course. Let’s dig a little deeper in the saga of It’s Not Such a Wonderful Life:
It’s Not Such a Wonderful Life
You didn’t really know what you wanted to do, but mom and dad and your friends all expected you to go to college, so you did. You changed majors a few times. It took five years and the student loans were enormous, but graduation day came at last.
Those student loans dictated a well-paying job even though you weren’t so sure this is what you wanted for the rest of your life.
Then you met someone! The wedding cost a fortune, but what are credit cards for?
Rather than paying down the student debt and the credit cards, you decided to get into a house – because a house is a good investment, right? Of course, houses are incredibly expensive these days. The one purchased was further away from work than ideal and hardly a dream house, but it’s all that could barely be afforded.
Given the commute time, a new ride was in order. It’s amazing what you can get for a few extra bucks. The finance company was willing to extend the car loan to 96 months, so it hardly changed the monthly payment at all.
Then great news, you’re going to be parents! It’s incredible what day care costs today, but losing an income for one parent to stay home was out of the question. In fact, things were going so well at work that you got a big promotion. Or at least the company thought it was a promotion. It turned out to be a ton of added stress. But your family needed the extra money and so you took one for the team and accepted the new job.
Then mom passed away. Things had been so hectic, it had been a couple of years since you got back home. Of course, mom and dad had visited many times. But before mom passed away, the visits had been waning. While home for the funeral, it became apparent why they hadn’t been visiting as often. They just couldn’t get around like they used to. They clearly weren’t keeping up the old home anymore. That’s when you realized that dad shouldn’t live alone.
Dad moved in with you. You helped settle their financial affairs. They had one of those reverse mortgages on their house, so after the funeral expenses, there really wasn’t any money left.
The kids were getting bigger and needed their own rooms and with dad moving in, you needed a bigger place. The new house was even further out, but your boss allowed you to work from home one day per week. The total commute time stayed about the same, but those four commute days that remained were a crusher.
Time passed, the kids grew older and dad passed away. Dad didn’t have anything left to pay for the funeral. Good thing the funeral home had a finance plan.
It was time to start thinking about college for the kids. Hard to believe they were ready to leave the nest. Harder still to believe that a few of your own student loans still required payments!
Life seemed to be like an ever faster moving treadmill, but somehow you were holding it all together. Then came the cancer diagnosis.
It was an emotional time. Family and friends rallied around. Neighbors you hardly knew brought over meals. The surgery was a success, but the chemo and radiation were exhausting. Your employer was incredibly gracious and supportive.
“Take all the time you need and get back on your feet. Your job will still be here when you’re better.”
Then the medical bills started to roll in. It’s amazing what insurance didn’t cover. Better or not, you decided it was time to get back to work and get that income coming back in.
Having cancer made you realize that life isn’t forever. Going back to all the pressure and the commute after skipping that for weeks brought the realization of just how miserable your pre-cancer life really was.
The one shining light in your life was the adult Bible study class you taught once per week. It made you realize you probably would have been much happier being a teacher. Of course, the pay would have been about a third of what you’re making and going back to school or changing careers now is out of the question.
Instead of investigating new career options, you began seeking a referral for someone to help with your depression.
If There Ever Was a Life in Need of an Apollo Solution, It’s This One.
The proceeding account is entirely fictional, but to what degree does it sound familiar? Note that it’s hardly a worst-case scenario. What if divorce had intruded on this saga?
There are two recurring themes that define this story. A failure to plan and too much debt. It might be the American way, but it’s not the American dream.
Before we begin applying an Apollo Solution, we still need to dig deeper into how this spacecraft got so far off course.
Be Careful What You Own and What Owns You
“Be careful what you own and what owns you.” My father said this to me when I was young and I have never forgotten. His lesson was centered on loving your stuff too much. But there’s more to it than that.
What do you really own? If you owe against it, you don’t own it. Consider Proverbs 22:78 NASB: The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.
Ouch. Finding out your loose financial lifestyle has made you a slave is like a Reality Face Punch (see Chapter Four).
If you have a mortgage, you’re not a homeowner, you’re a house slave. Renting an apartment? You’re a slave to the landlord. Yes, you must live somewhere. How does your home fit into your financial objectives?
If you lease your car or owe against it, you’re a car slave.
Carrying a balance on your credit cards? You’re a slave to the finance company.
Student loans? It would be nice to say that you’re a knowledge slave. It might be OK to be a slave to acquiring knowledge, but the acquisition of knowledge was in the past. The debt is still here. You’re a slave, call it whatever kind you will.
Being a slave means that your career choices will be limited to those that can service your debt. In this way, the rich are certainly ruling over the poor. Rich lenders get to dictate the kind of job you will have.
Rich people work at jobs they like and do what they want, when they want. But here we risk falling into the trap of believing that being rich equates to having a bunch of money. Come back next week and I’ll tell you what I’m talking about.