Being content is not our natural state. It is learned behavior that must be taught. And there are many agents that work hard at placing contentment out of reach.
We already talked about some of them in the previous post. Read on for the Six Warhorses of Discontent:
- The Advertising Industry.
This industry is banking on the idea that when you are buying something, it will not entirely be your idea. Some of this is OK. If the goal of advertising is to make the public aware of a new product or service that’s really great or a big improvement over how things were done in the past, what could be wrong with that?
But advertising will tell us that we need a new car, better clothes or a trip to an exotic locale. If we finally obtain these things and go to those places, then we’ll be happy like the models in the commercials. This can work against our contentment.
- Social Media
We already discussed the best day, best outfit, best experience pics no doubt put through the latest enhancing filters before social media upload. Here are a few uploads that you won’t see anytime soon:
- Here’s me and my spouse fighting!
- Just got up and really hung over!
- Just fell down the stairs!
- Hit a telephone pole with the car!
Social media can be a great way to keep in touch with family, friends and colleagues, but it can also encroach on your peace and contentment.
- Comparisons
Comparisons prove why social media can be so toxic. Social media is a comparison enabler. Compare yourself to others and you will always be able to find someone who is richer, better looking, more athletic, more spiritual or (seemingly) happier. In fact, insert seemingly before all those descriptors.
An internet search of Bible verses regarding comparing ourselves to others produces over 100 references to choose from. The volume of material alone instructs about the magnitude of this problem. Here are a few of the Comparison 100:
2 Corinthians 10:12 ESV
12 Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding.
Philippians 2:3 NASB
3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;
Embracing the idea that everyone you meet has worth, merit and expertise is liberating. You cannot possibly be the best at everything. Accepting this truth takes the pressure off and makes enjoying others more likely.
Matthew 7:1 ESV
“Judge not, that you be not judged.
In order to judge, you must first compare. We don’t know what place someone started from. We don’t know what their life is really like behind closed doors.
Exodus 20:17 ESV
17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”
To ignore this commandment is to get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses.
Psalm 139:14 ESV
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
You were created by God in his image. He makes no mistakes!
- Blaming Others.
When others are blamed for the mess we’re in, the opportunity to learn from the experience is lost. Additionally, the blamer is not in control, but the victim of circumstance.
We live in a culture where sometimes victimhood is something aspired to. The “victim” is not accountable because circumstances are beyond their control. There is always an excuse. No solution ever proposed can ever work. A sense of powerlessness results, leading to diminished self-confidence. Frustration and anger can sink in, along with resentment of others who seem happy and successful.
Again, the Bible verses addressing this troublesome problem run rampant:
Proverbs 12:15 ESV
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
This next verse in Matthew 7:3-5 ESV is one of my favorites and speaks not only to blame, but also to our propensity to make comparisons:
3 Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
Romans 2:1
Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.
- Regret
Regret is living in a past that cannot be changed. We are to learn from our mistakes, not wallow in them. Here is a powerful verse from 2 Corinthians 7:10 ESV:
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.
This verse is telling us our mistakes should help us recognize our need for a savior to save us from wrongdoing and consequence. In this way, there is a positive outcome from our mistakes. In contrast, to wallow in our mistakes saps our energy, confidence and creativity at best and leads to ruin at worst.
- Worry
Worry is attempting to live in a future we cannot control. Entire books have been written on this topic including the Dale Carnegie classic How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. There’s no shortage of Bible verses on this topic either.
Philippians 4:6-7 ESV
do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
1 Peter 5:7 ESV
casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Matthew 6:34 ESV
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Worry is a common affliction and I have not been immune. I’ll admit to occasionally suffering from a general sense of anxiety. When this happens to me, in an application of Philippians 4:6-7, first I pray and ask God to take these worries from me. Often, that is enough. But if not, then I make a list of all the things that could be the source of my unease. Then I write out what I need to do to overcome these problems. Even when the resulting tasks are not something that can be executed quickly, this exercise nearly always leaves me restored.
We’ve considered six warhorses of discontent. Next time we’ll consider three ways to cultivate contentment.